you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize