After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize