Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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