Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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