Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
