And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
