the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
