around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize