They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
