In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
