no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize