Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
