I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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