Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
