marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
