plz talk dirty to me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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