worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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