i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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