He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
