She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize