I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
