Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
