yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
