goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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