glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
