So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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