I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
