You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
