eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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