Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
