GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
