I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize