brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
