we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
