Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
