the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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