she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize