PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
