Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
