I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
