it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
