I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
