Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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