didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
