i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
