My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
