Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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