I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
