Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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