He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
