She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
