U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
