I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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