Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
