Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
