shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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