someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
