i may or may not be watching the land before time
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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