Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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