i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
