remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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