Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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