i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
