I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
