He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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