they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
