I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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