i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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