He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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